Columns

Going Viral

With the coronavirus taking over the airways—both broadcast and bronchial—there was a line in a February 27 Chronicle report that raised some concerns. In story on "negative pressure rooms," the Chron stated: "These rooms have HVAC systems that suck in contaminated air, filter it, and release it outside so that it doesn't contaminate the air in the rest of the hospital."

What gives? The HVAC systems don't completely decontaminate the air?

So the HVAC systems intentionally release contaminated air outside the hospitals?

Sounds like another reason to stay far away from hospitals if you want to stay healthy. 

Getting Zapped with Paul Krassner 

Yippie co-founder, Realist magazine editor, and "investigative satirist" Paul Krassner died in December, leaving behind a legend and a legacy that's about to get even greater. Despite his encounter with death (aka "the Cosmic Banana Peel"), Paul made one last deadline, finishing a book that's just now hitting the bookshelves. Zapped by the God of Absurdity has just been published by Fantagraphics Books. 

According to Paul's friend and collaborator, Pat Thomas, the book is a "personally curated 'best of' collection" chronicling Krassner's "whole career" with excerpts from The Realist, High Times, National Lampoon, Whole Earth and other insider outlets. 

In an email to friends, Thomas recalls having "incredible conversations with Paul about Norman Mailer and the American Nazi Party, Krassner dropping acid with Squeaky Fromme during the height of the infamous Manson Family trial, Valeri Solana's shooting of Andy Warhol and, of course, tons of info about Jerry Rubin, Abbie Hoffman, the Yippies and The Realist magazine." 

Fantagraphics is also the publisher of Krassner's 2016 collection, The Realist Cartoons. 

Last Gasp 

Speaking of books and cartoons, be it known that legendary comic-art publisher Last Gasp will be celebrating "50 years of independent publishing" with a gala Warehouse Sale on March 14 (11-4) and an anniversary art show on April 3 at the 111 Minna Gallery in San Francisco. 

Last Gasp went live on the first Earth Day in April 1976 with its publication, Slow Death #1. The SF-based publisher will mark it's mid-century mark with a special, follow-up edition titled Slow Death Zero: The Comix Anthology of Ecological Horror." 

Last Gasp editor Jon B. Cooke sends out a salute to some of the comic art "giants who have passed on"—Greg Irons, Dave Sheridan, Jaxon, Spain—and notes that many of the Slow Death originals are still with us (and have contributed to the new publication)—William Stout, Tim Boxell, Bryan Talbot, and Richard Corben. These vets, and a score of new talent, have joined Last Gasp guru "Baba" Ron Turner to produce a hunky 128-page commemorative paperback. 

With 2019 titles that included The Book of Weirdo, Neverlasting Miracles, Shut Up You Animals, Babylon Burning, and The Grateful Dead Family Album, it's no wonder Last Gasp was once again voted "Best Bay Area Publisher." 

Checking in on Modern Fundraising 

There are so many nonprofits struggling for support these days. How to compete? Well, one common ploy is the (redundant) "free gift." Typically these range from personally addressed name stickers to tote bags. The Sierra Club ups the ante with signature duffel bags and backpacks. Some nonprofits include actual coins. CARE recently sent out solicitations with a nickel attached. The Tuskegee Airmen mailed a funding request with a large commemorative coin. But Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD) outdid them all by including a $3 check made out to each of its potential donors. (Here's a tip: If your charitable nature tends to surrender in the presence of the profit-motive, don't respond to MADD's first check. Hold onto it and wait four months, at which point, MADD will mail a follow-up check for $3.) And here's the altruistic coda: MADD has found that this "we trust you" approach actually works to stimulate larger donations! 

What's Not to Like? 

There is an annoying part of public speech that may or may not have its own name. It's not unknown, it's not a verb, and it's certainly not a gerund. Since I am not a linguist, and do not no one, I've chosen to call these conversational tidbits linguistic litter." 

I'm referring to those small scraps of meaningless lingo–essentially rhetorical sound effects–that saturate common chatter when the speaker doesn't really have anything to say but can't bear to stay silent. You know the words: Um … Uh-huh… yeah… you know… really… duh…. Back in the 60s, we also had the all-purpose filler "dig." Today the current front runner is like." 

Tonight Show host Jimmy Kimmel recently culled an episode of The Bachelor to see how much the millennial contestants relied on this particular piece of mindless place-filler. After reviewing the evidence, Kimmel concluded: "It's, like, insane." 

Here is the video: 

Fight to Unite? 

As the Democrat Debates continue to roil, we seem to acquire even more evidence that America is, at heart, a clinically belligerent nation. A majority of the presidential contenders continue to strike the same familiar poses—fist in the air, index finger pointing menacingly at opponents, foreheads furrowed and eyebrows clenched, eruptions of loud, rude, and raucous shouts. 

The majority also strike a "familiar prose"—counter-attaching with ballistic vocabularies and vowing to "fight" and "battle" to "defeat" the opposition in order to "take back" the country. But what's really strange is the way they (Bernie, Elizabeth, Mike, Tom, and Joe among them) follow their militaristic jingoism with prescriptions that call for "uniting the country" while accusing they're competitors of "dividing the country." 

Isn't it inconsistent to argue that the only way to "unite a divided nation" is to win by fighting and destroying your political opponents? 

Laughing at War 

In an unlikely collision of art, humor and war, award-winning actor, director and screenwriter Jonny Lewis has created a new genre for the film-festival crowd—an exposition of "Antiwar Comedy Shorts." 

Maybe it's time we tried to turn the myths of "patriotism, duty, heroic combat, and the glory of sacrifice" into a laughingstock. Here are some samples of what Lewis has managed to imagine. 

Trinidad Chatter 

As usual, we spent the holidays in Trinidad, enjoying the tropical weather, speculating on the topical "whethers" of local politics, and catching up with the lives our family members. Among the memories of tasty food and jubilant music, there were several bits of conversation that still linger in the mind. Here are a few: 

A teen nephew, upon hearing that I had written another book: 

"You've written two books? So why don't you have a mansion?" 

A five-year-old named Ethan, pausing to put things in perspective: 

"That was a long time ago — back when I was four!" 

Overheard among the ladies gathered in the kitchen: 

"One time, she put vodka in her batter and the cake never baked." 

And a sports note from December 26, the day that Trinidad's National Lotteries Control Board hosted the "Saint James Stakes," an "eagerly anticipated" annual horserace also known as the Gold Cup. 

Top honors went to a steed named "Master of War." 

Runners up included "Nuclear Power," "Air Force," "Nuclear Fire," and "Wise Guy." ("Appocalypso" was not in the running.) 

Trump Does TIME 

And finally, Smithereens offers another of our continuing tributes to the legacy of Donald J. Trump.