Public Comment

Emotions get thorny. They are a semi-intangible cause of human suffering, but also a cause of great joy. Without emotions, where would we be? Emotions are the powerhouses that motivate humans to the point that we have civilization. And yet, for mentally ill people, it almost seems as though emotions are more a source of difficulty than anything. 

When we think we are non-emotional, it is probably an illusion. We're probably seeing an area of consciousness that doesn't have strong emotions at the time. This plateau of reduced emotion may fool some people into believing they're truly non emotional. If something difficult or provocative happened, it will probably blow a hole in this perception. 

How do we truly become non emotional? The answer is that probably, we don't. Emotions are always going to be around. The idea then becomes how we can mitigate the negatives of having too many or too strong emotions. But also, how we can obtain some of the really good feelings that we can enjoy. 

Emotions aren't often the direct consequence of facts. When something good happens to us, it is normal to feel good about it. But the vast bulk of emotions we feel are generated by how and what we think. And this includes meanings that we assign to events that could otherwise be seen as "objective." 

But I'm trying to build up to this question: Once we have exceedingly painful emotions in our laps, how do we cope with this? The exact source of an emotion isn't always pertinent. On the other hand, if we have a painful emotion, one technique of getting relief is to trace it to its source thoughts. If we can't do that, and many people probably can't, we need some other, simpler way of handling a painful emotion. 

1. Stop resisting the emotion. This often works and could allow a limited amount of pain to pass through you, in one end and out the other. It doesn't work a hundred percent of the time. In some cases, a painful emotion never stops, and it only intensifies if we fail to block it. This is a technique that works some of the time, and it might be something you could try first.
2. Change the content of your thinking. This could be equivalent to distracting yourself. This is very powerful and should not be underestimated. If you change the content of your thinking to things unrelated to what's getting at you, it has the potential to bring a period of real relief. Then you could come back to it later, if it is something you need to deal with.
3. Take a prescribed medication, thereby dealing with an emotion as being a symptom. This is sometimes not correct even if some prescribing doctors are willing to go along with it. On the other hand, if something is taking you over and it is too strong for you to deal with, why suffer when you don't have to?
4. Restrict consciousness to the "here and now." This is like putting a blinder on a horse to prevent it from seeing what's happening to its left and right sides, thus helping the horse do its job and not get distressed. In your case it is a restriction on consciousness. It is where you block out tomorrow, and hour from now, or five minutes from now. You could be focused merely on taking another breath. This is a very profound method, and it is derived from Buddhist mindfulness. It is not necessary to sit cross-legged to do this. You could play a radio and scribble bizarre drawings while you're doing this. The point of these side extra tasks is to remove areas of consciousness from the load you have to deal with.
5. Talk to someone. Talking to an understanding person can do a lot to bring relief. I personally have dialed 211 two times in the last month when I was distressed. The volunteers there are very dedicated and very helpful.

The above are some practical tips that can help you manage difficult emotions. No one has the right to tell you that you should not feel a particular way. Your emotions are your property. Anyone helping you with them is a guest, someone whom you are admitting to your inner self. As a guest they need to respect the items in your mind. And you, as their host, should be respectful and grateful.