Columns

Getting Back to Normal

In what looks like another sign that America Amok may be returning to "normal," the San Francisco Chronicle has been running a print ad that harkens back to the good ol' pre-pandemic days of yore. It has appeared daily on page 2, placed in a prized position directly below the Chron's "To Our Readers" editorial statement. It reads: "Attention! This Weekend. Fairfield Gun Show. June 6 & 7. New and Used Firearms. Bulk Ammunition. 1^st Time Buyers Welcome. Under 18 Free w/Parent."

The ad was adorned with an illustration of a revolver and a photo of someone wearing a full-body hazmat suit.

It's time for a new normal. 

Another Sign of the Times 

On June 1, the same day Donald Trump addressed the DC press corps in the Rose Garden to proclaim himself "the President of Law and Order" (and announce his planned military take-over of US cities), Trump's social-networking, ego-machine was working overtime. 

Across the Internet, shocking images of urban looting and disturbing videos of clashes between protesters and police were suddenly being covered over with pop-up ads announcing "Happy Birthday President Trump"—and inviting viewers to "Sign the Card." 

It's Hell on The Hill 

On Monday, I participated in a Zoom-hosted conference call with a congressional aide in Washington, DC. Working from his apartment outside the Capital, he lamented that little legislation or other communal business was happening because of the pandemic. Pieces of legislation that once would have garnered scores of co-sponsors within a day of introduction now wither with the legislative chambers largely empty. 

The staffer mentioned one progressive bill introduced by Rep. Ro Khanna (D-CA): "Ordinarily, he would have asked all his buddies to sign on and would have had 40 co-sponsors in on day one. Now? Zilch!" 

The staffer also noted that many routine operations on The Hill have been slowed by concerns over the spread of COVID-19. Apologizing for being ten minutes late in joining the call, he explained that he had been having trouble with his computer. "Tech support used to involve simply yelling for advice over a cubicle wall," he groaned, "Now it takes hours." 

Plying Your Trade … With Plywood 

It's not just Walmart and Target stores that have been boarded over to discourage attacks by roving bands of thieves. Trader Joe's outlets also have undergone a looter-takeover-makeover with their glass windows now hidden behind acres of recently installed plywood sheets. At the same time, most adjacent stores have taken no defensive measures to protect their plate glass. 

Does this give rise to mixed feelings? I mean, if I were managing a store that wasn't shielded with plywood, wouldn't I feel bad sending a message that my store didn't have anything anyone wanted to steal? If so, I might be tempted to install some plywood just to create the illusion that my goods were as steal-worthy as those of my neighbors. 

Recommended Reading 

Check out UC Prof. Robert Reich's stinging op-ed in London's The Guardian. Entitled "Fire, Pestilence and a Country at War With Itself: The Trump Presidency Is Over," it reads, in part: "You’d be forgiven if you hadn’t noticed. His verbal bombshells are louder than ever, but Donald J Trump is no longer president of the United States. By having no constructive response to any of the monumental crises now convulsing America, Trump has abdicated his office. He is not governing. He’s golfing, watching cable TV and tweeting. . . . He is no longer president. The sooner we stop treating him as if he were, the better." 

Trump's Latest Lies (as of June 1) 

On Friday, May 29, according to "multiple senior sources familiar with the matter," Donald Trump retreated to the safety of an underground bunker while protesters rallied in nearby Lafayette Park, across from the White House. Fearful of looking fearful, Trump claimed that he only dropped in for an "inspection" and only spent a "tiny, short period" of time hunkered below. 

On Wednesday, June 1—in an apparent attempt to repair his "strong and presidential" image—Trump arranged to stage a "photo op" holding a Bible in front of a nearby church. Only one problem: There was a large group of Americans in the way—celebrating the First Amendment and their constitutional right to Assemble Freely and Petition the White House for a Redress of Grievances. 

Reporters on the scene described how the peaceful protesters were driven from the park by Military Police and National Guard troops who attacked with tear gas, smoke bombs, rubber bullets, and pepper balls. Demonstrators and reporters alike were beaten by police batons as they fled the park. 

When news of the violent attack on a peaceful protest triggered a blowback of outrage, Trump denied he had ordered the forced removal. "When I said, 'Go to the church,' I didn't know protesters or not," Trump garbled. "Nobody tells me that. They say, 'Yes sir, we'll go to the church.'" 

One of the reasons to distrust Trump's denial of any foreknowledge of the violent attack on the peaceful protest can be found embedded in the video of the press conference that proceeded Trump's walk to St. John's Church. 

As members of the press have reported, "Tear gas canisters could be heard exploding as Trump spoke in the Rose Garden." And therein lies the proof of Trump's second lie. 

Even though the explosions are clearly audible, Trump showed no sign of surprise or alarm. Similarly, no members of Trump's security team rushed forward to escort POTUS to safety. All clear evidence that both Trump and his enablers clearly anticipated an outburst and knew the attack was underway. 

And what were Trump's words, as the bombs were bursting in the air over Lafayette Park? Just what you would expect—another lie: "We cannot allow the righteous cries of people protesting to be drowned out by an angry mob." 

Colbert Bares the Unbearable: Trump Exposed as a Fascist Twit 

Social Distancing: How to Wing It 

Waiting in one of those long shopping lines that circled around the block, we finally reached the point where we were supposed to make the turn toward the final block-long stretch. We'd been carefully heeding the six-foot-realm-of-separation so we were not prepared when the store orderly in charge of crowd control suddenly barked: "Stop! Hold it right there! Back up! Quick!" 

"What's up?" We asked. "There's plenty of room between us and the folks ahead!" 

"It's not them," he apologized, "It's the birds." 

He pointed to a blackbird silhouetted on a nearby rafter. "There must be a nest nearby. That bird's been dive-bombing people who get too close." 

Turns out this is not just a local inconvenience. The Wall Street Journal reports that bird attacks have been on the upswing in recent years—quite possibly another result of Climate Chaos. Here are some bird-bombing incidents filmed on the streets of San Francisco. 

Hug-a-Cop 

Given the endless stream of videos showing cops punching, beating, tazing, and firing weapons at unarmed civilian protesters (and the occasional journalist), it's kind of hard to repeat the meant-to-sooth mantra, "We're all in this together." 

But recently there's been a counter-stream of cellphone videos showing police — from Portland, Oregon, to the District of Colombia — reaching out to hug a protester or bending down to "take a knee." 

The later gesture has prompted two quite disparate reactions. In some video clips, protesters step forward to shake the hands of the kneeling cops. In other clips, the solitary kneeling cop is hauled to his feet by his comrades who proceed to "pound some sense into him." 

In one viral vid, a tall and lean black protester goes down a long Blue Line and gives a hearty hug to each officer on duty. Every one, from the beefiest to the smallest, responds with a vigorous back-slapping embrace. 

These are images that warm the heart. Until one remembers (GASP!) … COVID-19! What's worse, pandemic-wise, than a group of hundreds of police and protesters gathering to confront each other in the streets? In a word: hugging! 

Clearly, we're all in the mood for an overdue Kumbaya Moment but it's really got to wait until the coronavirus death count has peaked, flattened, and finalized. 

Related Note: Scientists are warning that tear-gas can accelerate the spread of the COVID-19 virus because it provokes tears and choking among scores of people in close quarters. Teargas and other air pollutants can also act as "carriers" that allow viral elements to "hitch-hike" over greater distances. 

The Deathknell of the Kneel? 

When Colin Kaepernick first "took a knee" in 2016 to protest racially targeted police violence, he explained that the gesture was borrowed from the military where “soldiers take a knee in front of a fallen brother’s grave." He went on to explain: “I am not going to stand up to show pride in a flag for a country that oppresses black people and people of color. . . . There are bodies in the street and people getting paid leave and getting away with murder.” 

Kaepernick could not abide the thought that Americans live in a country where a police officer accused of murdering an unarmed civilian is rewarded with a "paid vacation." That's what typically happens when a cop is accused of a crime: he/she is placed on "administrative leave" (which is just another way of saying "paid vacation"). 

But now that we have images of police officers publicly dropping to one knee in a show of sympathy with protesters, the messaging gets murky. 

Same gesture; two messages. 

What we are hearing is the sound of symbols clashing. 

Minneapolis Police Officer Derek Chauvin has dramatically co-opted Kaepermick's memorable embodiment of remorse. The message behind the image of Chauvin kneeling on George Floyd's neck stands in absolute opposition to Kaepernick's message. 

In the Bay Area last week, a female police officer restrained a protester by placing her knee on the victims' neck. It could be that this gesture (let's call it "Chauvin's Blue Kneel") is being adopted by rightwing police officers who sympathize with Derek Chauvin and believe that their job requires that they continue to "dominating" and subdue people of color. 

How do we know what's in the minds of the kneeling officers? How can we be sure whose meme is in their minds? Are they saluting Kaepernick or (like Trump advisor Steven Miller and his covert White Power hand sign) are they secretly sending a Chauvanistic message. 

Derek Chauvin has managed to take Kaepernick's powerful expression of solidarity (standing up for the poor by stepping down) and has wrenched it into a twisted embrace of racial hatred. 

A Sad but True Haiku 

His name says it all 

Derek Chauvin — another 

White Male Chauvinist 

Not an Honorable Death 

A US newspaper recently called for "honoring the deaths" of Americans who had died as a result of police violence. But is "honoring" the right word? These unfortunate people were victims. Their deaths were tragic. Their deaths are to be mourned, not "honored." They did not lose their lives while committing selfless acts like bringing food to war zones, fighting wildfires, rushing into burning buildings, or treating COVID-19 victims inside hospital emergency rooms. 

To use the word "honor" deflects and mistranslates the emotional message of these deaths. The verbal switch creates the false sense that the victims died in a "positive" manner while accomplishing something of significant social worth. There is nothing "honorable" about being murdered because of the color of your skin. 

As Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School student and mass-shooting-survivor Emma Gonzalez put it: "We call BS!" 

A "Barbicide" Aside 

There is a hair-styling salon in El Cerrito Plaza called Sola. Posted on its entrance is a sign that proclaims: "All our Sola Pros are Barbicide Certified." 

Barbicide? I'd never seen that word before. It sounds like a term Richard Nixon might have muttered in the '60s while ordering a dark plot to destroy Berkeley's feisty anti-war weekly, the Barb. 

Or was "barbacide" a reference to removing unwanted facial hair and/or beards? ("Barba" is Spanish for beards.) 

None of the above, says Wikipedia. It turns out that Barbicide is "a disinfectant solution used by barbers and cosmetologists for disinfecting grooming tools such as combs and hair-cutting shears." It's also EPA-approved and is reported to be effective against the COVID-19 virus. (But don't slip-and-slide your backside with Barbacide unless you are Certified.)